My brother, Daniel, was taken from us nine years ago. It feels like forever and I know it was just a few days ago.
The thick scab over my soul remains in place. The ache has never left.
I am acutely aware of his absence in December.
He loved to come and listen to the Vocal Arts sing.
Especially at Christmas.
He would sit in the pews at the Mission while we rehearsed. He would help usher at the concerts. He would encourage me and my daughter. Some years he could not make it. Some years he was driving his truck with some load to some place that was a thousand years from our music.
I would send him recordings and call him nearly every day. He was always amazed at the music that Vocal Arts performed. The last concert that he heard was our 2010 Christmas Concert in the San Luis Obispo Mission. He loved it.
His brain died eight days later.
This last weekend was the 2019 Vocal Arts Christmas Concerts. Danny was in my heart and on my mind. I sang for him.
I know he would have been proud of our performance.
This is the Morten Lauridsen ‘Ave Maria’ as performed on December 8, 2019 by the Vocal Arts of California.
As I listen to it, I see him, in his black leather jacket, his long legs sticking out into the aisle at the Mission. There was a sparkle in his eyes and a smile on his face. I see him at his last concert. White shirt, bolo tie, and black leather vest. A grin on his face.
I miss him.